Grand Teton National Park

The entire Western United States is gaslighting us about wildlife.

Marmots. Grizzlies. Moose.

They’re not real.

I’m convinced that the one tiny moose we saw was just a big deer. That Rogue and Fall Risk called a moose. To shut me up.

We woke up at 4am yesterday morning.

And left the house in time to see the sunrise over the Tetons.

And then white-knuckled our way across the mountain pass. To visit Grand Teton National Park.

Rolled into the park at 7:30am.

Walked down to Jenny Lake.

Where Fall Risk was frightened by a squirrel. Yelling at her. To which she responded, “No. Stop that.”

Then we wandered over to the boat shuttle. (Just the shuttle. And not the cruise. Because we can’t be trusted to be at the dock at a specific time. Rather than just anytime in ten minute intervals between 7am and 7pm. Those parameters are more suited for the people we are.) And were shuttled across the lake. To start our hike up to Inspiration Point. Which was…fine.

And back down to Hidden Falls. Which was…powerful.

I actually could sit and watch that all day.

Except people.

Just so many people.

So many unreasonably large groups of children. And their adults.

But it was a lovely hike. And boat ride back.

Then we drove on around the park.

Looking for the imaginary wildlife. And taking a ridiculous number of photos. Of basically the same thing.

Lake. Trees. Mountains.

Lake. Trees. Mountains.

Lake. Trees. Mountains.

Then this barn.

But that one was just for Travel Goddess. We legit drove all around that park looking for that barn. Just to take that pic. Specifically because Travel Goddess told us not to. Because the at is who we are as people.

And then we rolled back on out of the park. And over the mountain pass. And back to the air bnb. At a reasonable hour.

Where I tried to go for a run. Until I realized that I need oxygen to do that. And there is no oxygen in Western United States.

So, to sum up.

There are no bad views in Teton.

Every view has lake, mountains, trees.

Except that one with the barn.

The animals aren’t real.

Except for the chipmunk that crawled onto Fall Risk’s leg.

Because humans are trash. And incapable of considering impacts of actions beyond themselves.

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