"I almost stopped you and told you to get off the road yesterday." What? Why? "You were out running. Police cars just flying by you. Lights on. Sirens blaring. Because there was some dude out on Washington St with a gun." Huh. "But then I figured you'd already passed him. Given him a high five. … Continue reading Continuing To Prove My Intelligence
Author: Sunshine Richards
Pre-Testing Season Happiness
5:36am I'm awake at 5:36am. On a Sunday. Because I live next door to a rooster. Actually, no. I live next door to a Jack Russell Terrier. He lives next door to a rooster. And do you know what the rooster lives next door to? Another rooster. Those mother fuckers will talk for hours. It … Continue reading Pre-Testing Season Happiness
Embarrassing Lagertha
Got home from beer with GBFF…WHTBS the other night. Pulled into my driveway. Got out of my car. And dude across the street says, “There she is!” And I say, “Heyyyy!” Wave and all. Just went all in on the acknowledgment. I've never seen dude across the street before. Dude across the street has never … Continue reading Embarrassing Lagertha
I’ve Named Her Lagertha
So, homeownership. I'm calling her Lagertha. My home. That's her name. Lagertha. It's been an adjustment. This new relationship. Me and Lagertha. Lagertha has rules. Which she has posted. And it's not like...I mean, they're not unreasonable rules. But it's just the principle. You know? I pay the mortgage. I make the rules. So I … Continue reading I’ve Named Her Lagertha
A New Home
Slept for ten hours last night. I did wake up around midnight. Mostly because my body is used to waking up around midnight. Because that’s when people break up. But last night. I slept in my new house. Whoa. It’s a little anxiety-inducing to say that. Because it’s all now my responsibility. But not as … Continue reading A New Home
Socially Awkward Competition
So, I've got a new co-worker. IT Guy. Fairly new. He started a few months ago. I think. Hell, time holds no place in my world right now. He could have started two years ago for all my brain can process right now. The point is, I don't know him super well. But I do … Continue reading Socially Awkward Competition
We Weren’t Ready (for snow)
Almost died. Getting my hair done today. It snowed. Here in SW Virginia. We weren’t ready. Apparently. I spent the brunt of the snow at my old house. Now my kids’ house. While they were off producing an entire human. Arguably the cutest human ever produced. Maybe even cuter than me. Possibly. So I got … Continue reading We Weren’t Ready (for snow)
Well Rested With Issues
Honestly, y'all. As much as I'm a mess. I am the most basic human to maintain. I'm not easy to deal with. But I'm simple to maintain. I swear. Handsome Son dropped sausage poofs off at work. For my breakfast. Last week. Before I got there. My bosses. Who were the only ones there at … Continue reading Well Rested With Issues
Just Another Day
Damn. Y’all wasn’t playin. About just walking into 2022 quietly. Sitting down. And not touching nothin. Usually I wake up to a flood of happy new year messages and texts and snaps and voicemails. And yes. I wake up to them. Y’all know I’m not staying up till midnight willingly. For any reason. Except to … Continue reading Just Another Day
Ick Diagnosis
The worst part of living beneath what I assume is a drug dealer. Is that he is home just always. Just always home. This mother fucker never leaves the damn apartment. Just keeps his obnoxious ass up there. Just always. Annoying the fuck out of me. Awake until unseemly hours in the morning. Just living … Continue reading Ick Diagnosis