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Because I Like To Give Back

I’m sitting in the parking lot of Salem Health & Rehab right now.

One of my students is interviewing for her first real job.

She just finished her CNA. She just presented at our company’s Black History Month Celebration, where the mayor and other community members were in attendance. She leads our Participant Action Committee. She’s 20.

She has her life way more together than me.

My job, as a “Life Skills & Leadership Developer II” is to help these young adults learn the skills to help them be successful in the world.

I assume that the “II” at the end of my job title means that I should be extra skilled at this work.

(Because it certainly doesn’t mean I’m getting paid any extra…)

But let me share how much I should NOT be in charge of helping other humans develop basic life skills.

I woke up late this morning, so I didn’t have time to ingest all of the coffee I need to social with other humans.

I scraped only some of the ice off of my car using an old CD.

A CD for a program that I paid to become certified to teach…and never taught.

I left the ice on the top of the car, because I’m short and I couldn’t Go Go Gadget my arms to make the CD reach the top of my car.

I turned around on my way out of my neighborhood because a tree was down on the road and the men were chainsawing it and one of them was waving me on up. I assume because he wanted me to social with them. And I can barely social when I’ve had all the coffee. There is no socialing when I haven’t had any of the coffee.

So I sat in my car in my driveway until I heard the chainsawing stop.

Then I crept slowly back out to the road to peek my car around the corner to make sure I would be completely and utterly alone leaving my community. Because I can’t community right now. I FULLY appreciate my community members for spending their morning doing this…

But please don’t make me community until coffee.

A few feet up the road I encountered another downed tree.

But rather than stop, call someone with a chain saw, and be forced to community while we took care of the issue, I just skimmed the fence and drove around it.

I’ve spent the past few days trying to remind myself that I’m a decent human and people like me…while also trying to avoid the people and having to social.

Because that’s who you want teaching young people about social skills.

I wore this new shirt someone gave me today.

I haven’t fully figured it out yet. It has those hanging tied pieces at the back.

Which I forgot about.

When I sat down to pee.

So now I’m walking around with pee on my shirt.

A grown ass woman. Walking around with her own pee on her shirt.

I mean, I did wash it out as much as possible in the sink.

But still.

I peed on my shirt this morning.

Because that’s who you want teaching young adults about life skills.

It’s only 10:30am.

I’ve still got several more hours to demonstrate how unprepared I am for this role.

I’m excited to see what other ways I can fail to be a competent adult. And pass that knowledge onto the young people.

Because I like to give back.


Just reading and writing and running and looking for my happy place.

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