I was in a meeting a few weeks ago where we were discussing the ways people learn. And we ended up on the topic of icebreakers. And I, allowing myself to feel a little too comfortable being me in a work environment, said, “The quickest way to shut me down is to make me do an icebreaker. I hate them. I loath them. They are the absolute worst.”

I was then treated to a lecture from a fellow participant who framed my admission in the light of her own realization that she needs to push herself outside of her comfort zone. That she may not like icebreakers, but it’s important not to just shut down over things that make us uncomfortable.

Obviously, I shut down at that point.

I was uncomfortable.

But ok. She’s not wrong. I wholeheartedly agree with her.

To an extent.

The thing is, I have lived a good portion of my life outside of my comfort zone. I’ve done the things that scared me. The things I didn’t like. The things that made me uncomfortable.

But I’m entering my 50th year.

I just don’t wanna spend much time in that discomfort zone anymore. *shrug*

I continue to push myself into my physical discomfort zone. Admittedly far less often than I used to. But I’m still willing to visit that one.

I found a couple of leftover prednisone I’d lost last summer when I hurt my arm. (Arm is still hurt, btw…). So I took them. Because of other newer pains and injuries. And I was fully pain free for a solid three hours. It was…phenomenal.

I understand how drug addiction happens.

But for the most part, I’m willing to be a few feet outside of my physical comfort. If it means I can see a pretty view or spend time with people I love or if someone is giving me snacks along the way.

And I’ve been trying to be better about wandering outside of my emotional comfort zone every now and then. For people I care about. I don’t wander too far. Yet. But I’m testing the ground out there. It’s not…I mean…there’s no death or dismemberment that I’ve seen…yet…so I guess I’ll still keep trying it.

What I’m just no longer willing to do is step outside of my comfort zone for a job I don’t love. For a group of people I have no emotional investment in. For training that I’m not interested in. For the ridiculous premise that naming my favorite ice cream flavor is somehow going to build connection and kickstart learning and teamwork. (I hate ice cream. I have yet to make a connection with anyone on that one.)

And apparently just saying “No, thank you” is an option. Just…whenever. In response to whatever. “What’s your favorite ice cream, Sunshine?” “No, thank you.”

And as a lifelong people pleaser, just exercising that option is a venture into discomfort.

So, I guess my point is that Joan isn’t a better person than me just because she is enlightened enough to realize that she needs to step outside of her comfort zone at work.

I don’t have that need. Not anymore.

I did have the need to justify it to any of you who will read this. Because hustling for my worthiness is absolutely still something I need to do.

But I’m saving my discomfort zone ventures for views like this…

With people like these…