"You always have people throwing food and gifts at you on your birthday." Because I tell them to. If you don't tell them, they have to want to do it on their own. I have no trust that anyone will want to celebrate me on their own. So I have a pretty strong history of … Continue reading Unannounced Birthday
My Awkward Self
Cat Teeth Removal
Nine years ago. I brought home a foster cat that lived inside of this couch for over a month. For a solid month. Maybe two. I never saw him. He only came out of this couch when I wasn’t around. He had zero trust in me. Until he did. I call it the cat couch. … Continue reading Cat Teeth Removal
Incomplete Impromptu Road Trip
Sometimes you just need a road trip. Had happy hour at work. Again. Yesterday. (These folks love to celebrate shit.) So I sat there. With my beer. Watching them all talk. And laugh. And reminisce. About all the times that happened when I didn’t work there. IT guy talked to me. “You’re Sunshine.” I am…that’s … Continue reading Incomplete Impromptu Road Trip
Full Car Inspection
Every year. Every year I have issues with my car inspection. Remember that time I was Living That Rejected Life? Yeah, that was a fun time. Did you know that you can make an appointment for a full car inspection, but you can't make an appointment for a car inspection? Except that you can make … Continue reading Full Car Inspection
Proving My Existence
So, I work in this…I guess it’s called a green building? Or a smart building? A smart green building? The lights are on motion detectors. The toilets and faucets and towel dispensers are also motion-activated. It’s cool. In theory. Saving all those resources. But there’s something about my existence that the sensors fail to acknowledge. … Continue reading Proving My Existence
Legit Professional Woman
Ran with my Cross Country kids for the first time in months tonight. Ran is a bit of a stretch. See this? That’s my heart rate. That spike? That’s when my heart rate hit 193… That was during the warm up… We all agreed I would just sweep the actual run. I’m certain it serves … Continue reading Legit Professional Woman
Summer League For My Life
I just finished up my first full week of work since May. And it was jam-packed with nonstop new employee meetings and a flood of new information. One of the days was back to back meetings with different executive team leaders. And they kept asking what department I work in. Within the company. And I … Continue reading Summer League For My Life
Skipping the Panic Attack Stage
I have spent much of my weekend watching training. To help me feel a little more...competent. Going into my first actual full work week in almost two months. So, I've got this access at work now. To send emails. On behalf of the COO. ... Y'all just...sit with that for a moment. I. Me. I … Continue reading Skipping the Panic Attack Stage
Storm of Vulnerability
Actually. Shitstorm of vulnerability. Is more accurate. But seems inappropriate for a title. It’s ok to cuss in an actual post. Just not the title. So, shitstorm of vulnerability. Those are the best words I have to describe what is happening inside of my brain right now. My son asked me how the new job … Continue reading Storm of Vulnerability
Walter’s Replacement
So to continue on my theme of incompetence this week… My dad found me a very nice, used riding mower yesterday. And brought it to me. As we were coordinating a spot for him in my front outbuilding. My parents saw Walter. And immediately began ridiculing him. And me. “So, you’ve been mowing an acre … Continue reading Walter’s Replacement