That?

That’s anxiety.

That is irrational anxiety.

I had to travel to California for work this week. So my son is house/pet sitting for me.

And I’m menopausal now. Which has unlocked the special new skill of creating the most devastating ( and unlikely ) events out of something as simple as a bad light bulb.

So when I explained to the Man my anxiety that the ceiling fan with the flickering light bulb would spark an electric fire while my son and babies were sleeping…

“Lemme fix that for you.”

I’m pretty sure Smart Child was a little offended that I thought he wouldn’t be able to escape a house fire. He is, after all, Smart Child.

But his offense is a small price to pay to be able to sleep.

I mean, I still won’t sleep. Because there are about 5 million other irrational fears working around in my brain.

And I tried. I tried to be only normal human level early for my 7am flight.

But anxiety made me wake up at 2:30am.

And get to the airport at 4:30am.

Roanoke airport never justifies being 2 1/2 early for your flight.

But anxiety does.

Anxiety also dictates deplaning behavior. When I have a connection to make.

But I’m not sure why anxiety thought I could get my suitcase out of the overhead compartment. With people standing on all sides of me.

I knew I didn’t have the right angle to maneuver it successfully.

But by the time my brain was able to get anxiety to accept that information, I was already on my way down.

Back, actually.

I was actively falling backwards. In slow enough motion to announce to everyone on the airplane that I was falling.

Actually it wasn’t an announcement so much as a statement. “Well, I’m going to fall now.”

And in a beautiful show of humanity, every single human behind me reached out to catch me. And push me back upright.

Just one giant trust fall exercise among strangers on a plane.

Anxiety was not impressed.