“How many miles are you feeling like this morning?” Oh, I don’t know. Maybe 7 or 8? I started with a 2 liter pack of water frozen solid. It was melted by mile two. Because those first two miles. Were straight up the side of a mountain. 800 stairs. Or maybe 5,000. My legs will … Continue reading Hanging Rock Re-Make
#trailrunning
Natural Bear Repellant
Disclaimer: In case you’ve found this post by searching for “natural bear repellant” on the internet. I’m sorry. This is not that. This is satire. Well, actually it’s my life. But my life is basically satire. So… So, it’s freakishly beautiful in Virginia today. Cool. Clear. Lovely. And because every run I went on last … Continue reading Natural Bear Repellant
Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
I’ve been told you’re not a real mountain biker. Until you wreck. And despite my desperate need to be included. My every instinct. When mountain biking. Or lifing. Is to not wreck. So, I spent Sunday running Hay Rock. I didn’t want to. I didn’t not want to. I’ve spent all of break with this … Continue reading Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
Another Failed DeFo Special
Sometimes the looks of disappointment Spanish speakers give me... So, the plan this morning was to run the full DeFo Special. 27 miles. 8,000 feet of climbing. I´ve always managed to find a way to short that mileage. Usually by running out of snacks. By mile ten. And no one is willing to run with … Continue reading Another Failed DeFo Special
Day Creek Comeback
I keep seeing these dudes on Tik Tok. All pissy. Bitching and complaining about how we've hidden the powers of Midol from them. But y'all don't understand. Midol may be the only thing keeping us from randomly punching you in the balls. When our hormonals kick in. Times like. Now. I laid down for a … Continue reading Day Creek Comeback
Tinker Cliffs Sunset
“So when you fell and ‘broke’ your tibia. Did your friends try to help you?” Well, first of all, let’s not use finger quotes for the word broke. Also, no. Obviously they didn’t try to help. They just stood there watching. Waiting for me to get back up. So we could get on down the … Continue reading Tinker Cliffs Sunset
That Time I Accidentally Ran 22 Miles
“Oh, you’ve got this nice gymnasium floor.” And I do. It is cool. But dude works here. And I was probably the fifth gymnasium apartment he’d visited. The floor was not a new experience for him. The problem was. I forgot that maintenance was coming through to check the sprinklers. And I’m currently unemployed. So … Continue reading That Time I Accidentally Ran 22 Miles
Leadville Rules
You have to pick out girl names ahead of time. Only having boy names is how you end up with a child named Sunshine or some hippy shit like that. And then she’s got to spend her life answering all kinds of uncomfortable questions. And that comment was what kicked off the debate. Between my … Continue reading Leadville Rules
A Little Late for the Cove
Look. We’ve done some shit. Rogue and I both have done some legit shit. In just the last few years that we’ve known each other. We’ve run Chicago Marathon. And America’s Toughest Road Marathon. Did that one twice. In the same race, matter of fact. Ragnars. Trail and Road. Spartans. We’ve Trifecta’d. That shit ain’t … Continue reading A Little Late for the Cove
PFSF Revolt
I was just sitting in my car. Minding my own business. Trying to talk Fall Risk into coming to the gym. I was in the middle of typing, “I’d love to go home and take a nap, but J-Vicious is-“ And that’s the point at which he reached through my window and snatched my phone … Continue reading PFSF Revolt
Shine My Way 