I just had to remind Beautiful Beastie and Tiny Brazilian that it was 6 o’clock in the morning. On a Sunday. So they would stop making my phone make noises. There is no adventuring for me today. We did quite enough of that yesterday. We did some Hellgate recon yesterday morning. And all we were … Continue reading Hellgate Recon (Glenwood Horse Trail)
#trailrunning
Trail Hazing
“Why every time we go somewhere with Beautiful Beastie does it feel like we’re being hazed?” Rogue’s not wrong. We went to Rock Castle Gorge with her last weekend. Where she and Tiny Brazilian quickly took off. At their beast pace. While Rogue and I followed behind. At our normal human pace. Where we traversed … Continue reading Trail Hazing
Hanging Rock Re-Make
“How many miles are you feeling like this morning?” Oh, I don’t know. Maybe 7 or 8? I started with a 2 liter pack of water frozen solid. It was melted by mile two. Because those first two miles. Were straight up the side of a mountain. 800 stairs. Or maybe 5,000. My legs will … Continue reading Hanging Rock Re-Make
Natural Bear Repellant
Disclaimer: In case you’ve found this post by searching for “natural bear repellant” on the internet. I’m sorry. This is not that. This is satire. Well, actually it’s my life. But my life is basically satire. So… So, it’s freakishly beautiful in Virginia today. Cool. Clear. Lovely. And because every run I went on last … Continue reading Natural Bear Repellant
Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
I’ve been told you’re not a real mountain biker. Until you wreck. And despite my desperate need to be included. My every instinct. When mountain biking. Or lifing. Is to not wreck. So, I spent Sunday running Hay Rock. I didn’t want to. I didn’t not want to. I’ve spent all of break with this … Continue reading Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
Another Failed DeFo Special
Sometimes the looks of disappointment Spanish speakers give me... So, the plan this morning was to run the full DeFo Special. 27 miles. 8,000 feet of climbing. I´ve always managed to find a way to short that mileage. Usually by running out of snacks. By mile ten. And no one is willing to run with … Continue reading Another Failed DeFo Special
Day Creek Comeback
I keep seeing these dudes on Tik Tok. All pissy. Bitching and complaining about how we've hidden the powers of Midol from them. But y'all don't understand. Midol may be the only thing keeping us from randomly punching you in the balls. When our hormonals kick in. Times like. Now. I laid down for a … Continue reading Day Creek Comeback
Tinker Cliffs Sunset
“So when you fell and ‘broke’ your tibia. Did your friends try to help you?” Well, first of all, let’s not use finger quotes for the word broke. Also, no. Obviously they didn’t try to help. They just stood there watching. Waiting for me to get back up. So we could get on down the … Continue reading Tinker Cliffs Sunset
That Time I Accidentally Ran 22 Miles
“Oh, you’ve got this nice gymnasium floor.” And I do. It is cool. But dude works here. And I was probably the fifth gymnasium apartment he’d visited. The floor was not a new experience for him. The problem was. I forgot that maintenance was coming through to check the sprinklers. And I’m currently unemployed. So … Continue reading That Time I Accidentally Ran 22 Miles
Leadville Rules
You have to pick out girl names ahead of time. Only having boy names is how you end up with a child named Sunshine or some hippy shit like that. And then she’s got to spend her life answering all kinds of uncomfortable questions. And that comment was what kicked off the debate. Between my … Continue reading Leadville Rules