You ever get a delivery? From Amazon? During a global pandemic? And spend 17 1/2 minutes staring at the box? On your porch? Trying to remember what in hell you possibly bought?
There’s a point where you try to determine who might hate you enough to ship you a box of the Covid.
Meh. You’re on Stay At Home orders at this point. May as well risk it.
Ok. So y’all remember when LL drove the J-Vicious bus over me last week?
This is how she makes it up to me.
Except Doritos are on backorder. Because people are panic buying the really important shit right now. Doritos. Toilet paper. Chicken. Cocaine…
No, wait. Let’s talk about this for a second.
Drug dealers in England aren’t expecting cocaine shipments right now. Because traffickers respect the hell outta stay at home orders, I guess. So people are panic buying that shit.
And this dude. This “DH” they interviewed. Has quality concerns.
Like, you can’t even get some weed unless you’re a regular.
You can’t, say, decide that you wanna try some new recreational methods of coping with the pandemic.
There is no experimentation during this global crisis.
And if the regulars are buying that much weed, I understand why the Doritos are sold out.
But damn, y’all.
You can’t hoard everything nice.
Y’all start hoarding the coffee and we’re gonna have words.
Anyway, so LL couldn’t buy my love back with Doritos. So she went for the next best thing.
Dark chocolate. And Dorito socks.
Seriously.
Look it.
Yes. I was supposed to be doing crunches while I was taking this picture…
Which could be why J-V threatened to take my phone at the end of the workout.
Dammit, LL.
It’s cool, though. I don’t think he can reasonably claim essential business to come confiscate my phone.
He’d have to get one of my cats to do it. And while they’re fully capable of such a task. Obviously. If they can open doors now. I’m certain J-V doesn’t have the cat language necessary to get them on board.
But I got my first weighted strength workout in since this whole thing hit.
And even though J-V can’t yell at me to go heavier. If he’s not here to see how heavy I’m going. It was still a really solid workout.
And it’s why I’m awake right now. At 5:30 in the morning. My pre-pandemic wake up time. When I don’t need to get up until 9:00. To shower. Before I go feed the children again.
But the muscle soreness woke me up. And said we should probably go for a run. To shake the lactic acids or whatever out.
It’s like the universe wants me to spend this pandemic getting my ass in gear and getting healthier. Or some shit like that.
And also. Maybe stop panic buying the cocaine. And find a replacement addiction.
I hear strength training and ultra running are pretty addictive…
Leave a Reply