Real ID Take Two

Remember when I went to get my Real ID? And they told me my birth certificate wasn't proof of my actual birth? Or existence? Thank you so much. I’ll miss you guys! “…ok…you…have a nice day…” Look. I’ve spent a lot of time with the DMV folks lately. And my socials are a little more … Continue reading Real ID Take Two

End of My Fitness Hiatus

“What are you guys doing???” Whatever we want! We’re grown! Went to leg day yesterday. At PlayFITStayFIT. Haven’t been there in a minute. Because PlayFITStayFIT classes coincide with my post-work coma schedule. It’s hard to work around that. Because work is fully draining. Like, as I’m walking out of the building at 4pm (3:56 pm…because … Continue reading End of My Fitness Hiatus

PFSF Dress Code Violation

So, I’m the reason PlayFITStayFIT may have to implement a dress code. I went to leg day this week. And I was the star student. Like, J-Vicious wasn’t saying I was the best student in class. But he was saying the others were the worst. Which automatically makes me the best. So I was feeling … Continue reading PFSF Dress Code Violation

Working Out With My Gram Grams

I’d like to talk to someone about getting a punch card, please. “Ok. I can help you with that. What questions do you have?” …I would like to know if I can get a punch card, please? “Oh. Yeah. Sure. People just usually have questions about how the punch card works.” I mean…I come to … Continue reading Working Out With My Gram Grams

How My Gyms Are Failing Me

“Ok! Here’s the workout! Sunshine! Put your phone down!” It’s work. I need to respond to this. “Put it down. Now.” Just. I just have to answer this question for them real quick. “Do any of your other five gyms let you use your phone during workouts?” I mean, I sit the phone right beside … Continue reading How My Gyms Are Failing Me

Its Called Supplementing

I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to complain. Or whine. About being sore. I was also accused of cheating. Which is absurd. Because I do not have the energy or motivation required to cheat. I’m not known for managing even one man’s drama. I sure as fuck ain’t tryin to manage two. Or more. … Continue reading Its Called Supplementing

Sometimes I Wear Pants

“Good morning, Sunshine! You look nice today!” …Thanks…I mean I’m just…wearing pants? I guess that’s…kind of fancy? But thanks… “No, you just usually…I don’t ever see you wearing…pants…” …Ok. That’s fair. I just…pants are usually so hard to wear. With their unreasonable buttons and shit. But I’ve recently managed enough gym time. And running time. … Continue reading Sometimes I Wear Pants