Just One More Bad Idea


This is what happens.

Someone comes up with some bullshit. And I kind of generally acknowledge. That they’ve said some bullshit.

And next thing I know.

I’m committed to doing a Murph followed by a Bullshit Burpee 10k. At the Hi-Dee-Hoe Loop.

And then told that it was my idea.

It was not.

Hell. I’m not even supposed to be running right now. Because Branch and a Half Military is pretty sure I fucked my back all up jumping into a 50k. That I was not trained for.

(A 50k which also was not, incidentally, my idea.)

I don’t even really recall saying yes. To the Murph/BS Burpee 10k idea. I definitely said yes to the untrained 50k. That one was on me.

But this one is not.

I just suggested we all sign up for PlayFITStayFIT’s Virtual 10k.


Just a simple little run.

Perhaps on some nice little trail.

To support my favorite gym.

It could have been so pleasant.

And relaxing.

And then Skratch gets involved.

And all of a sudden, I’ve got a fucking Murph scheduled right before a Bullshit Burpee 10k.


How does this bullshit happen.

How do I even know people like this.

Remember last year? When I went Hi-Dee-Hoe’n With The Crew?


None of that bullshit was my idea, either…

And I know what you’re thinking.

Just say no, Sunshine.

But also. You know. I can’t just say no.

I thrive on the shit that will push me to the point of breaking.

And I whine about it. Full force. Along the way.

And y’all. This pandemic is getting to me.

I need some challenging bullshit to keep my focus during all of this bullshit.

So here’s what we’re gonna do.

We’re gonna do a Murph. On Memorial Day. Because that’s when you do a Murph. Because memorial. For those badasses that sacrifice their lives for us.

Y’all not goin anywhere on Memorial Day.

They cancelled all of our shit for May.


I don’t know where we’ll do the Murph yet. Maybe. If we’re lucky. We’ll get to do it in the actual gym. Or maybe we’ll have to get creative. And do a modified version at the Cove. Like we did last year. But socially distanced. Because pandemic.

Either way. We’re gonna do that.

Skratch will even have his weighted vest. To make it a for real legitimate Murph.

I am undecided on that point.

My need for badassery only extends so far.

I have no need for actual legitimate badassery.

Although, J-Vicious is pretty sure he’s gonna put a weighted vest on me.

Because he takes whimpering and tears as positive feedback.

Which. In fairness. Is how you know you’re pushing me to be better.

I’m pretty whiny when progressing.

And then. Then we’re gonna run 6.1 miles. Around the Hi-Dee-Hoe Loop. Doing fucking burpees every mile.

That. Sounds. Awful.

The good news is, we have all of May to train for it.

Also, I probably won’t be responsible for counting.

In virtual class last night, we had to count. And J-V, in true elementary teacher form, can sense when I’m totally lost. Even virtually. When he’s got me muted. And can barely see me.

“You’re at 60. You’ve got 60 to do.”

But…how did you know…?

So you can do those classes with me. To train. Because I cannot possibly be the only one incapable to doing a single pull up at this point in time. Right?

Who wants in?

Because seriously. It’s gonna be awful. But it’s gonna also be way less awful than pandemic quarantine.

Also. If anyone wants to just do the pleasant little trail 10k option instead. I’m in for that, too.

And also the 5k option.

I’m basically in for every fucking thing right now.

Because fucking pandemic quarantine.

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