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Upstairs Podracer

I almost fell asleep on my way to PlatFITStayFIT yesterday.

But managed to stay awake long enough to get there. Early.

I’m early!

“It’s 4:25.”

I know! I’m early!

“Class starts at 4:00.”

But no. I start at 4:35. Except. I’m early!

Find you a gym trainer that will let you bully him into adjusting his time to your schedule.

With a president wife that will demonstrate strong leadership in not letting him push you around.

“Ok! 4 o’clock class! Finish out your last round!”


B-Major straight up just said “no.” Grabbed their children. And walked out.

So I thought I’d try the same. When my 50 minutes were up.

Not. Like. Grabbing children. But just saying no. And walking out.

Except I don’t have the same air of authority she does.

So it came out more whiny. Like, pleeease can I be done? I have to go do work. I’ve already done 54 minutes and 34 seconds of workout. And I’m only paying you for 50. I don’t want to take advantage of you. I’m leaving for you. I’m so tired. Please. It’s time for me to go.

“Fine. If you feel good about the work you’ve put in here.”

See. If you just whine long enough. He gets sick of hearing it. And let’s you leave.

But I was just so legit tired. And still had a few hours of work to get done. And it was already getting dark outside. Indicating bedtime.

And ok. So let’s talk about why I was so tired.

So remember how upstairs neighbor kept me awake all night? Demoing his living room? Right above my bedroom? Wednesday night?


He wasn’t demoing.

He was building.

What sounds like…

A pod racer.

He was straight up Anakin Skywalkering up there Wednesday night.

And apparently Jar Jar has stopped fucking around with it. And Watto finally came through. With the parts he needed. To get it running.

So this thing has just been idling. In a very podracery way. All. Fucking. Night.

I’m not even playing.

The sound I heard. And am still hearing. Directly above my head. All. Fucking. Night.

Is absolutely that of an idling podracer.

And it’s not necessarily an obnoxious sound.

It’s kind of nice. In a white noise kind of way.

Except. My brain wants to understand.

Which is odd for my brain.

My brain usually isn’t even aware of shit going down right in front of it.

Let alone having any sort of curiosity about shit going down out of sight.

But I’m a little bit of a Star Wars geek.

And I gotta know if homeboy’s got a legit working podracer up there.

And what he’s gonna do with it.

And how he managed an entry into the Boonta Eve Classic.

And when that actually is.

Cause I’d like to go.

And also. Like. I haven’t heard him falling. Or dropping shit. Or moving. Since yesterday morning.


I mean.

Should I…check on him?

To make sure he hasn’t Jar Jarred himself into that beam thingy? And is just lying numbly on the floor? Unable to move? Or talk?

And is it a legit reason for me to call in sick?

Because y’all.

I need to understand what is happening in the space above my bedroom.

There is some force field type shit happening up there. And I need to know.

And also. I need a nap.

And I’m not sure if work or home is the best place for that to happen…



Just reading and writing and running and looking for my happy place.

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