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Further Proof That I’m Divergent

“What Myers Briggs are you?”

I have no idea.

“I bet I can guess.”

And he did. And then he sent the test.

And I prepared myself for just the worst possible personality type.

Because I’ve been having a rough few days.

I’ve been off my meds for a few months now. Hoping that my tremor would calm the fuck down.

It hasn’t.

It has actually gotten worse.

But as a bonus. I’ve also started slipping back into my darkness.

The one where I believe the world doesn’t like me.

And I’ve started another extra job. Because house hunting.

So I haven’t had a lot of time to try to work myself out of the darkness.

So my work people have been my lifeline.

Because they get me.

Remember when Work Boyfriend abandoned me? A few weeks ago? So she could travel the world with her family? And left my ego to fend for itself? Without her daily compliments?

Yeah, she spent that time away from me sending me daily videos. Telling me how hot I am.

Just daily attention videos.

Exactly what Leo needs.

And in one of her daily videos. I saw an activity box. That she’d taken along for her daughter. To keep her entertained. And I was like, I need that.

So yesterday…

She made me an activity box.

You see why she’s the best work boyfriend ever.

Do you see all of the things???

(The onesie isn’t for me. That’s for mi nieto.)

I had to bring it home. Because I legit just wanted to spend the workday yesterday coloring pictures and doing activities.

Instead of scheduling the next thirty in a string of freaking truancy meetings that never end.

So that helped. My fowl ass mood.

So much that I managed to get to the gym. After work. And do an entire workout. Without complaint.

Mostly because I knew I was getting beer after.

Because GBFF…WHTBS is still willing to participate in our friendship. Even though I suck at reciprocating.

And he gifted me this.

Because books are always the right gift.

And he always knows the right books to recommend. Even if they end in me rage writing a blog post to the author. (Which the author responded to, btw. Because he recognized that he was wrong. For that book ending.)

But even better.

GBFF…WHTBS gifted me this.

I know. On the surface it doesn’t look like much.

But I have a unique brain.

Do y’all remember? When I had the revelation? That I’m Divergent?

And GBFF…WHTBS refused to fully buy into it?

Even though I am. I am divergent.

He redeemed himself.

By guessing what my Myers Briggs is.

And only being off. By one.

Which. Ima be real. I don’t even really know what that means. To be off by one.

Because I paid very little attention to this part of undergrad psych.

I was way more interested in Abnormal Psych.

But y’all.

You see that, right?

“Rarest personality type.”

“Unique combination.”

I’m certain. He regretted sending me the test. As soon as he saw my result.

I keep telling him.


And this. Was exactly the validation I needed.

To continue my journey out of my darkness.

And then this text. From one of the popular girls. At school.

That’s it. That one little text telling me that she thought of me. To include me. Was everything.

And I know she’s the popular girl. Because she was the star. On the tree. Of Tommy’s Christmas door decoration.

But also.

I was the gift.


I just need to be included.


I know.

I’m sad.

But I’m also the rarest. And divergent.

And it occurs to me that I should be clear. That popular girl is actually a co-worker. And not a student.

Because as much as it might not devastate me to get fired. This year. Specifically.

It would devastate me to get fired. For something I didn’t do.

Because I have a “deep sense of idealism and integrity.”

Because divergent.


Just reading and writing and running and looking for my happy place.

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