Look. My socials…we’ve discussed this. They’re not my strength.

But I require an outlet for my random daily thoughts and experiences.

And there is one specific group chat that serves that purpose for me.

Group messenger chat.

So when the Meta crashed today….

I mean, I didn’t really have anything to share with my group messenger chat during that time.

But the simple fact that I couldn’t? Y’all. The subtle panic that kicked in.

I was legitimately physically uncomfortable.

I mean, what am I supposed to do without my security blanket chat? Talk to IRL humans??

Because that shit never flows normally for me.

The new Starbucks in my building is opening next week. So they invited us down for a free coffee. To pressure test their staff.

I think they wanted us to order the complicated 15-ingredient bullshit puzzle coffee Starbucks is known for.

I don’t know how to do puzzle coffee.

I know how to do…coffee.

“What can I get you?”

Coffee.

“What kind?”

Just a…coffee…um, ok. How about one of those mocha ones.

“Ok. What size?”

Oh, uhhhhh venti? Is that a size? A small? I’d like a small.

“No. You want a tall. Rhymes with small. Now you’ll always know.”

Cool. Pretty sure I’m just gonna always call it a small.

“What name?”

Sunshine.

“Is that your government name?”

…yes, sir…(it felt appropriate to call this child sir, because this transaction was starting to feel official…)

“I know a unicorn.”

You know…like, a real unicorn??

“She was born in New York. Pretty sure she was conceived at Woodstock.”

Ohhhhh. Right. Ok. Human Unicorn.

This transaction has turned into a hippy name competition. Cool. Unicorn wins.

I don’t normally like losing, but I got a free small tall coffee. So, it’s fine.

And the free small tall coffee gave me just enough energy to go for a run after work.

So I ran (and walked and ran some more and crawled some) up to the Star.

Well, to the almost Star.

All of the motorcycles and cars that zoomed past me on my way up was enough to deter me from going all the way to the Star. I don’t like humans when they come in packs.

So I veered off at the sub overlook. Took in the view.

And then headed back down to for some food. And a beer.

Or that was the plan.

“Would you like something to drink?”

Do you have Minute Man?

“I don’t know what that is.”

It’s a beer. I think. I…now I’m not sure. Do you have Three Notchd?

“Ummm, no…”

Am I just…making up beer names?

“We’ve got these (Pointing to a poster on the wall). They’re basically the same thing.”

Then he wandered off to go fetch one.

As I’m reading the poster…

Dude. That’s vodka.

And then he’s standing there with one of these in his hand…

Mumbling “well this is tequila…”

Yeah, can I just have some water?

I don’t know if he felt as defeated. Or crazy. As I did.

But it was fine. Plain water went well with the elementary school grilled cheese I ordered. A good beer would’ve just highlighted how disappointing the unmelted government cheese sandwich was.

The point is I got a free coffee and a decent run up to the star in tonight. And some quality time with my Rogue.

And just so Rogue and I both know I’m not crazy…

Minute Man is a real beer. A real good one.

Without any vodka. Or tequila in it. Totally suitable for a Tuesday night.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I need to go create contingency comms plans in case Meta takes out my group security blanket chat again.