Yellowstone Upper Loop

Ok. So, Rogue and Fall Risk took me back to Yellowstone. On our last day out west. Determined to at least do the upper loop. And see if it was as comparably unimpressive as the lower loop. Mostly we wanted to see the Canyon. So we woke up at 4am. And headed on over to … Continue reading Yellowstone Upper Loop

Grand Teton National Park

The entire Western United States is gaslighting us about wildlife. Marmots. Grizzlies. Moose. They’re not real. I’m convinced that the one tiny moose we saw was just a big deer. That Rogue and Fall Risk called a moose. To shut me up. We woke up at 4am yesterday morning. And left the house in time … Continue reading Grand Teton National Park

Yellowstone Lower Loop

Yellowstone. This is the most accurate poster I’ve ever seen. We flew across the country. And drove across Montana. And halfway across Idaho. To see Yellowstone. And after 4800 hours of traveling. We rolled into the Air bnb. Where Host wanted to chat. For hours. While showing us all of the features of the unit. … Continue reading Yellowstone Lower Loop

Utah National Park Tour: Zion

Final day of our five day five park tour. And it’s raining. Like constant rain. Just all damn day. Raining. And I don’t know about y’all. But driving into a canyon during an all day rainstorm feels…sketchy. Like, perhaps we shouldn’t be provoking the universe like that? But we’re nothing if not the sort of … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Zion

Utah National Park Tour: Bryce Canyon

Air bnb dude: “Have you ever seen the Milky Way?” My dumbass responding excitedly: Yes! Air bnb dude: *looking at me skeptically* Fall Risk: *staring at me confused* My dumbass justifying my response: At my old house. I could see all kinds of shit. And then I threw in something about light pollution to make … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Bryce Canyon

Utah National Park Tour: Capitol Reef

Day three of no breakfast. Or dinner. I clearly owe Fall Risk’s co-worker an apology. We headed out this morning. Fueled with the knowledge that we were heading towards Giffords House Pies. Under the belief that. If we didn’t get there before 11:30am. We’d miss out on the pies. That would sell out by then. … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Capitol Reef

Utah National Park Tour: Canyonlands

“My co-worker told me that when she came out here, they only ate like one meal a day.” Well, that’s the dumbest shit I ever heard. … So the issue. When you send two introverts out into the wild. On their own. Is that once they’ve done whatever thing they were assigned to do. They … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Canyonlands

Utah National Park Tour: Arches

I just googled how to open a bottle without a bottle opener. The search returned 13 options. The one option it didn’t return. Which was the only option that actually worked. Was wandering around camp asking people for a bottle opener. This particular anecdote is representative. Highly representative. Of how our trip is going so … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Arches