Tag: #mountains
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Natural Bear Repellant
Disclaimer: In case you’ve found this post by searching for “natural bear repellant” on the internet. I’m sorry. This is not that. This is satire. Well, actually it’s my life. But my life is basically satire. So… So, it’s freakishly beautiful in Virginia today. Cool. Clear. Lovely. And because every run I went on last…
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Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
I’ve been told you’re not a real mountain biker. Until you wreck. And despite my desperate need to be included. My every instinct. When mountain biking. Or lifing. Is to not wreck. So, I spent Sunday running Hay Rock. I didn’t want to. I didn’t not want to. I’ve spent all of break with this…
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Cups and Christmas
“Are you getting here super early?” Obviously I’m getting there super early. That’s who I am as a person. “I need you to pick up cups.” For liquor??? “For the workout.” That sounds less fun than liquor. But fine. And so that’s why I walked into the gym. At exactly 4:00pm. With a sleeve of…
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Another Failed DeFo Special
Sometimes the looks of disappointment Spanish speakers give me… So, the plan this morning was to run the full DeFo Special. 27 miles. 8,000 feet of climbing. I´ve always managed to find a way to short that mileage. Usually by running out of snacks. By mile ten. And no one is willing to run with…
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Mountain Biking Introduction
Oh hey! So I brought- “Give me your keys.” And I tried for indignation. That was my gut response. But then images of that time I lost my key at North Mountain. And then that next time I lost my key. At North Mountain. And… No. That’s fair. So, I handed GBFF…WHTBS my car key.…
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Day Creek Comeback
I keep seeing these dudes on Tik Tok. All pissy. Bitching and complaining about how we’ve hidden the powers of Midol from them. But y’all don’t understand. Midol may be the only thing keeping us from randomly punching you in the balls. When our hormonals kick in. Times like. Now. I laid down for a…
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Tinker Cliffs Sunset
“So when you fell and ‘broke’ your tibia. Did your friends try to help you?” Well, first of all, let’s not use finger quotes for the word broke. Also, no. Obviously they didn’t try to help. They just stood there watching. Waiting for me to get back up. So we could get on down the…
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A Much Needed Return To Christmas Mountain
“When I was younger, my friends and I used to do an Invincible Week.” Well, that sounds like something I need to do. “We stopped after our last event when they had to send search and rescue for us.” Yes. This speaks to me. In all fairness, it’s speaking to me a little less this…
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Utah National Park Tour: Zion
Final day of our five day five park tour. And it’s raining. Like constant rain. Just all damn day. Raining. And I don’t know about y’all. But driving into a canyon during an all day rainstorm feels…sketchy. Like, perhaps we shouldn’t be provoking the universe like that? But we’re nothing if not the sort of…
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Utah National Park Tour: Bryce Canyon
Air bnb dude: “Have you ever seen the Milky Way?” My dumbass responding excitedly: Yes! Air bnb dude: *looking at me skeptically* Fall Risk: *staring at me confused* My dumbass justifying my response: At my old house. I could see all kinds of shit. And then I threw in something about light pollution to make…