GJB Birth of Chaos Run

This post will likely be of little interest to a lot of you.

Because it’s about this dude’s birthday run tonight.

I’d asked him beforehand to at least make it an epic run so I could entertain my readers, but of course he failed to do anything epic. Hell, he didn’t even run with me.

But if you know him, you know you can’t not do the birthday blog you promised. His diva comes out so quickly these days.

I think it’s because he’s aging.

I didn’t want him to go home with his much better half all divafied. No one wants that for her.

So, a bunch of us went out for our standard Thursday evening Shine Runner’s Chaos Run.

In the dark.

It started out a little dicey because a couple of us couldn’t decide if we wanted to do the three or the five mile loop. And everyone else who has a handle on what they want out of life just sort of took off without us.

I was later informed that there was a newby with us that we’d all abandoned. But Finn’s dad was there and I think he showed some damn class unlike the rest of us and led her through.

So it was just Rogue, Running Partner, and I for much of the initial mileage.

Luckily, Running Partner has harnessed the power of the sun into a headlamp, so at least Rogue and I could see to maneuver most of the way up the mountain.

But then he got all fast while I was just trying to manage a fast-stutter run-walk to keep up with Rogue’s power hike and before we knew it, the sun was a good half mile up the road and we were left with the sad realization that neither one of us had fully operational lights.

I haven’t charged my Ironman chest lamp since I bought it because I’ve met me and we all know damn well that if I take that bitch out of my running bag for that purpose that it will still be sitting there on my counter plugged into an outlet while I’m heading out on my next night run.

And Rogue was using Running Partner’s back up light … because … you know why?

Yeah, she left her Ironman chest lamp sitting on the counter plugged into an outlet while she was headed to our night run.

And she’s even kind of more together than I am. Thus proving my point.

But we managed by miracle to not only stay on the mountain, but also to not twist, turn, break, or bruise anything.

The Force got us through.

And while GJB ran his fastest Chaos time ever tonight, I ran my slowest.

But there was delicious chili hosted by Happiest Fittest Chick I’ve Ever Met and sun butter balls and questionable birthday cards and this weird finger thing that GJB kept making people to do to prove their loyalty to him.

Rogue and I kicked off our Antelope Canyon 55k Training.

Endong and the tiny Brazilian made plans for some actual epic adventures while Running Partner tried to monitor which ones I was actually agreeing to. (All of them. Shhhh.)

And GJB told stories of his brother and Toaster Strudel. (It’s not a great story. But if he offers you a strudel, just don’t take it. Even if you love them. Trust me.)

And GJB said his only birthday wish was for everyone to sign up for the Martinsville Half using my discount code: SUNSHINE25. Which I thought was sweet.

The end.

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