So, several things happen when you return to RPM/CX class after a two week hiatus.
First, K-Rob-D forgets math and says you’ve been missing for five weeks.
Second, Beautiful Beastie brings you a gift bag. Containing a brand new pair of pants. And the bag of chips she had to carry for 35 miles on Saturday. Because you didn’t do the full 311-220 route. (I’m gonna skip a few more classes and see if I can get a shirt and jacket to go with the pants. And maybe some steak. Or tacos.)
Also, your body gets all like, what in the actual fuck, dude?
My legs are pretty sure they’re being punished for my stomach’s decision to not do the full 20 Saturday.
So they’re bitching back and forth about that.
My legs are all like, if we’d have just done the full 20 Saturday, she wouldn’t be putting us through this bullshit now.
And my stomach is all like, don’t even. You sure as fuck carried our happy ass back on down McAfee and straight on to food, though. Didn’t you?
And my ass is like, would y’all shut the fuck up. We hurt. Like, a lot. You’re not the ones that just sat on that metal rod for an hour and a half.
And my legs are all like, it wasn’t a metal rod, drama queen. We took you straight to the fat seat. We gave you the fat one.
And my ass is like, it still hurts. We’re dainty and fragile.
And my stomach is like, psht. Dainty my ass.
And my legs are all like, really? No one? “We gave you the fat one.” And NO ONE is gonna throw out a that’s what she said??
Ima just let them argue this out.
Apparently any tolerance your undercarriage builds to bike seats is easily lost.
So I’m gonna have to build those callouses back up.
It hurts to sit now.
I don’t understand why my hobbies so often result in painful sitting.
Like, maybe I should rethink some things…?
And also, we’re gonna need to work on the scheduling of these classes.
Because today, class started at exactly the same time as the Indiana-Maryland game.
Who the fuck schedules a cycle class at the same time as a Big Ten game?
And that game, specifically.
Did y’all see that game??
Because YouTube tv app…
What are you doing?? Reading a book???
No, Beautiful Beastie. No I am not.
And you’d think a game that close would have distracted me from the pain I was being pushed through.
It did not.
Nor did it distract me from the pain of the core work portion of class.
Because my core has not worked in two weeks.
But. And here’s the part I really love.
When we got in the hot tub. And the score was 76-75. Hoosiers. With one minute left in the game. And I propped my phone up beside the hot tub.
Dude With The Charming And Disarming Smile asked if I was watching the Indiana game.
And how much do I love that he knew it was the Indiana game I’d be watching.
And K-Rob-D asked what the score was.
And then she and Dude and Finn’s Dad and I just gathered around my phone. And watched.
As fucking Jalen Smith hits a layup. And wins the game for fucking Maryland.
Ok. I don’t love that last part.
But I love that my people were interested enough to watch that bit of the game with me.
It was really kind of a beautiful moment.
Bonding over basketball.
Which now seems appropriate given what was happening in California at that moment.
So, Beautiful Beastie and K-Rob-D and Tiny Brazilian have claimed ownership of my Blue Ridge Double Training.
Which is a little frightening.
There were a lot of orders thrown at me in that hot tub.
Which is good. I mean, I need that.
But also, frightening.
K-Rob is taking over my calendar. Like, she’s legit adding things to my calendar and shit.
So, I guess if any of y’all wanna hang out again ever. You’re gonna need to go through these chicks?
Or at least until April.
I probably won’t sign up for anymore dumb shit requiring me to hand over my life to other more responsible adults after April.
I probably won’t do that…