We Weren’t Ready (for snow)

Almost died. Getting my hair done today.

It snowed. Here in SW Virginia.

We weren’t ready. Apparently.

I spent the brunt of the snow at my old house. Now my kids’ house. While they were off producing an entire human.

Arguably the cutest human ever produced.

Maybe even cuter than me. Possibly.

So I got to shovel the driveway.

The driveway that led me, in previous years, to consider buying a narrower car. Like maybe a scooter or something. And to search “how to move a house to front of yard.”

Seriously. I wasn’t even at the bottom of the driveway when I took that.

Un. Reasonable.

Spent the entire time thinking, “Dude. I’m a grandmother now. Grandmas aren’t supposed to be doing shit like this. I’m just supposed to be baking cookies and shit. Shit. Now I have to learn how to bake cookies. And stop saying words like shit.”

And then my kids brought their perfect new human home.

Who made the shoveling all worth it.

And I would’ve spent more time cuddling him.

But I hadn’t showered in days. And I definitely sweated. A lot. While moving cement blocks of snow ice with a plastic shovel.

And I didn’t want mi nieto’s first association with me to be filth.

He’ll figure that out later on. When I take him trail running.

So I came on home. To my tiny space.

And…

I mean, I should have been prepared. Based on the email apartment management sent. Telling people to stop double parking. So others could get to work.

“We understand the snow has posted many challenges this weekend and we greatly appreciate everyone’s patience as the plowing staff is short handed with Illnesses and we will be working with them to have a 3rd round of plowing and sidewalk care done as soon as possible.”

So, this email would imply that two rounds of plowing and sidewalk care have already been done.

Y’all.

I didn’t take photos. At the time. Because I was just trying to find a place to park. That wouldn’t immobilize my car. Until spring.

And then I was just trying to drag a suitcase. Up a sheer ice embankment. To the section of sidewalk they’d managed to hit. During rounds one and two.

I assume they were saving the portion that actually connected the sidewalk to the parking lot for round three.

Hopefully they also have more parking spaces planned for round three.

Because I haven’t left my apartment since I got home. For fear of losing the one parkable space.

Which meant I had to walk to get my hair done yesterday.

And…

Ok. So everyone is short staffed right now.

I get that. As a concept.

But also. How is everyone short staffed right now??

Like. What are people doing if they’re not doing these jobs anymore???

Where are the people to refill those jobs?

Because I wouldn’t hate not doing my job anymore. But I also don’t know the magic of how to survive and pay bills without the job. A job. Any job.

Y’all let me know about the magic. Please.

Because we are just not shoveling any snow. Anymore.

There used to be people to do that.

I remember.

But now. They’ve all quit that job. Because jobless magic that they won’t share.

And so I’m left to traverse this.

Just to go get my hairs colored back in.

And that part was awful. Because I kept falling through the slush ice.

But then this part.

That is a slope of solid ice.

That slopes downward.

Towards the main road running through town.

I had to cling to the cement wall. To keep from sliding off into traffic.

And also. Let’s go back to this.

Who is making these erratic footprints?

Like, they don’t follow a consistent human stride pattern.

I swear my heart rate hit 180 as I was just trying to hop scotch my way through these ready made footprints.

And they’re making me go back to school today.

So hopefully round three clears up some parking spots. For me to come home to.

Because I don’t think the plastic chair in the space is going to save it for me.

I also don’t even have a plastic chair.

I’d have to sacrifice one of my real wooden chairs.

And I barely have useable furniture as it is.

It’s fine.

If I don’t have a parking spot after work tonight. I’ll just head on over to my kids’ house. And live there. Cuddling mi nieto. Until spring. Ot pre-school. Or whenever.

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