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Real ID Take Two

Remember when I went to get my Real ID? And they told me my birth certificate wasn’t proof of my actual birth? Or existence?

Thank you so much. I’ll miss you guys!

“…ok…you…have a nice day…”

Look. I’ve spent a lot of time with the DMV folks lately.

And my socials are a little more awkward than usual. Because New Job.

But the two hours I spent with them yesterday morning. Felt special.

It started with rejection. Again. Because while I found my certificate of birth, but I didn’t bring my most recent utility bill. I brought the same one I’d taken last time. That was absolutely acceptable then. When my birth certificate was not. But was absolutely not acceptable now. When my certificate of birth was.

But eventually we all decided that my license could serve as my proof of identity. Since they’d just given that to me. A week ago. And that I was legitimately who I said I was.

But then we got caught in a loop. Of voter registration.

Twelve times.

I went through the voter registration questions twelve different times.

Because the system kept resetting. Every time I registered.

Until I finally said, what if I don’t register to vote?

Meh. Civic duty isn’t that important to me.

I’m not that upset about the state of our country. And state. And city right now.

I probably don’t need to have a voice in that process.

And that worked.

That decision to decline my voter registration. Allowed me to become a REAL United States citizen. With a Real ID.

Which…no, that actually tracks.

And then she…voided my drivers license.

Voided ID to get a Real ID

And told me to have a nice day.

Ok, but…

Like, where is my new one…?

“You should get it in about five days. If you don’t receive it by the end of the month, let us know.”

Ok, but…so am I no longer a citizen now?

“It’s fine. You have this receipt for your Real ID.”


So apparently I’ve given up my right to engage in civic discourse. And my entire citizenship, as well.

So, that’s cool.

Mexican chick over here just all illegal as fuck.

I’m sure it will be absolutely fine.

And because the day started off so well, I found the strength to return. To PlayFITStayFIT.

After my banishment.

And re-acceptance.

Decided to go for a little pre-fitness run on the greenway before class.

The greenway. In SouthEast.

About two miles in. I felt the need to walk.

Because I did not want to fall out from heat exhaustion. On the greenway. In SouthEast.

And as I’m walking along.

Minding my own business.

The woman behind me breaks into song.

“Look at how weak you are… look at how weak you are…look at how weak you are…”

Just over and over.

And initially I was intrigued.

It was a catchy tune. And she had a nice voice.

And usually people only sing Sunshine songs to me.

This was a new, original piece. Obviously written just for me.

I was excited to hear the other verses.

But it was just that one line.

On repeat.

For a solid minute. Or two.

Just enough time for me to recover. And start running again.

Which is when she hit the finale.

“And you’re trash, too!! All of you!!”

I was the only one out there.

So that was a real confidence-builder.

To end a week that was already pretty damaging to my confidence to begin with.

Got inside the gym. And J-Vicious asked me to lift this tire for him. So he could move it out of the way.

Me holding up a giant tire.

So I did that.

As you can see here in this absolutely not staged picture.

And that helped my confidence a bit.

And then we started the actual workout.

With burpees.

And holy mother of all that is good. My shoulders. My shoulders weren’t ready. After Thursday’s entirely debilitating arm day.

And whyyyy did you include shoulder presses, and push ups, and band thrusters, in this workout???

And no! I didn’t lift that 500 lb tire all by myself!! You did most of the work!!! I just pretended to help you lift it!!!!

I’m weak! Greenway Lady’s song was entirely accurate!!!

I’m weak as fuck!!!!


At some point in my meltdown. J-Vicious told me he’s seen “glimmers of hope” from me.

In my fitness journey.

I’m gonna be real. I can’t even remember why. What prompted him to say that.

Because I don’t have the brain space to remember.

Because New Job.

All I know is that I offer glimmers of hope.

So I feel pretty ok about that.

And maybe I’ll be able to use my arms again at some point this weekend.

Also, I’m gonna need a citizenship buddy. Until my Real ID comes.

I can’t get deported, y’all.

I’ll never survive Mexico.

My Spanish is not ready for that.

We’ve seen how I respond to Spanish speakers.

I panic.

I’m still one of those no sabo kids.

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Just reading and writing and running and looking for my happy place.

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