They’re both gorgeous! This observation shouldn’t have garnered an odd look. And a hesitant “yes they are...” But I’m losing my social cues. Because 2020. So when I said, “They’re both gorgeous.” I nodded back down the road. At his wife. And the dog she was walking. Instead of also at the dog he was … Continue reading Awkward Neighborhood Runs
My Awkward Self
New Chiro Doc
Warning: I am drinking as I write this. I just emptied the last of my peanut butter whiskey and chocolate liqueur into a glass. With some almond milk. And chocolate syrup. And I’m just going all in on it. Because look it. It’s necessary. But I think I’m still lucid enough to relay my most … Continue reading New Chiro Doc
ASL Out Loud
Ho-Ly-Fuck, y’all. This is the year I become an alcoholic. There’s just no way around it. It is the only possible solution. For survival. My people are the only reason I’m even kind of managing 2020 as it is. But they’re falling apart, too. So... Every morning at work now starts with Resistant Facebook Friend … Continue reading ASL Out Loud
Pants Pocket Privileges
“It’s ok. I don’t measure the same as the young girls either.” Ummm...? Apparently I just put all my business out there for y’all. Or at least some of y’all are eerily good at guessing my business. To an uncomfortably exact degree. So I’ll just explain. I went for my depo injection today. And as … Continue reading Pants Pocket Privileges
Birthday Boycott
So here’s what happens when I. An unabashed attention seeking Leo. Requests to skip her birthday. It confuses people. Like, they don’t know what to do with their hands. Because last year. I made sure folks knew. They had a one week lead in to my birthday. To prepare. To do this. (Damn, I miss … Continue reading Birthday Boycott
Major Life Choice Waivers
So, I’m not alone, right? Things have just gone to shit for everyone, right? I missed my own birthday party this weekend. I mean, I didn’t know it was my birthday party. When I missed it. But it was. And I did. I had reasons. Fully legit reasons. But mostly, everything has just spiraled out … Continue reading Major Life Choice Waivers
Pandemic or Menopause?
I was six years old when my mother taught me to suck in my stomach. Well, she didn’t so much teach me as just tell me. And I can’t be real certain about the age at which this happened. Or the way in which she said it. Or even if it ever actually happened at … Continue reading Pandemic or Menopause?
More Evidence I’m Losing My Mind
Do you know the name of the Pennsylvania town where the American version of “The Office” is set? If you’ve ever watched even one episode, you probably do. I’ve watched all of them. Hundreds of times. Which is what I said to John Krasinski in my dream. Repeatedly. For a solid hour. As I was … Continue reading More Evidence I’m Losing My Mind
Lost Words
“WTH!!! A Burr kills Hamilton?!!” I feel like I shouldn’t have to spoiler alert that. Or emotionally prepare anyone for it. He says right at the start of the show that he does it. Plus, history... When I was in high school, a friend and I went to see “The Doors” movie. And as a … Continue reading Lost Words
Awkward Phone Calls and Rejection
So, the problem here is that school closed down 3 1/2 months ago. And even before it closed, I’d been complaining that the snack guy hadn’t brought me more Doritos yet. So that thing has been sitting in there. Aging rapidly. For at least half a year. But also, I’m out of work practice. So … Continue reading Awkward Phone Calls and Rejection
Shine My Way 