“Staunton River High School. How can I help you.” It’s raining. And there are tornado warnings. And I feel unsafe. “And how can I help you?” I don’t have an umbrella. “SIGH. Where are you?” In the back parking lot. “Ok. Hang on.“ And it may have taken him a solid 12 minutes. To get … Continue reading My Last Last Day
#Running
Natural Bear Repellant
Disclaimer: In case you’ve found this post by searching for “natural bear repellant” on the internet. I’m sorry. This is not that. This is satire. Well, actually it’s my life. But my life is basically satire. So… So, it’s freakishly beautiful in Virginia today. Cool. Clear. Lovely. And because every run I went on last … Continue reading Natural Bear Repellant
Drop In Neighbors and Rock Castle Gorge
An hour. It has taken me a full hour. To assemble this fucking office chair. Maybe two. It’s all an obscenities filled blur. This is not a single person job. And yes. Those are my pajama bottoms in a heap on the floor. Shit got hectic for a while. Those holes…just wouldn’t line up. And … Continue reading Drop In Neighbors and Rock Castle Gorge
Blue Ridge Virtual Double Marathon
13 minutes. That’s how long it took me to get out of bed. Down the stairs. And to the coffee. And then several more minutes to figure out how to transport the coffee to my chair without the full use of my left leg. Because my dumbass thinks she’s still 43. Or however old I … Continue reading Blue Ridge Virtual Double Marathon
Spring Break From Work
I have spent the past 15 hours either sleeping. Or collecting food. For tomorrow. I've done precious little actual human communication. Because I've spent most of the past week doing too much of the wrong kind of communication. Arguing with the wrong people over the wrong things. Or trying desperately to communicate with the right … Continue reading Spring Break From Work
Time Lapse Week
Last week a teacher came into my office. Sat down. And said, "Have you just hit a wall this week? Like...I've got nothing left." Dude. Yes. I woke up this morning thinking, I'm not gonna make it to Saturday. Let alone Spring Break. "Right?" ...this was Friday... I don't know what happened in the time-space … Continue reading Time Lapse Week
Pre-Testing Season Happiness
5:36am I'm awake at 5:36am. On a Sunday. Because I live next door to a rooster. Actually, no. I live next door to a Jack Russell Terrier. He lives next door to a rooster. And do you know what the rooster lives next door to? Another rooster. Those mother fuckers will talk for hours. It … Continue reading Pre-Testing Season Happiness
A New Home
Slept for ten hours last night. I did wake up around midnight. Mostly because my body is used to waking up around midnight. Because that’s when people break up. But last night. I slept in my new house. Whoa. It’s a little anxiety-inducing to say that. Because it’s all now my responsibility. But not as … Continue reading A New Home
We Weren’t Ready (for snow)
Almost died. Getting my hair done today. It snowed. Here in SW Virginia. We weren’t ready. Apparently. I spent the brunt of the snow at my old house. Now my kids’ house. While they were off producing an entire human. Arguably the cutest human ever produced. Maybe even cuter than me. Possibly. So I got … Continue reading We Weren’t Ready (for snow)
Just Another Day
Damn. Y’all wasn’t playin. About just walking into 2022 quietly. Sitting down. And not touching nothin. Usually I wake up to a flood of happy new year messages and texts and snaps and voicemails. And yes. I wake up to them. Y’all know I’m not staying up till midnight willingly. For any reason. Except to … Continue reading Just Another Day