I dislike burpees. Like, intensely dislike. You know how you can be enjoying your favorite, most delicious meal, contemplating how perfect your life is and then for no clear reason you bite down on your tongue with enough force to crush through a human bone? It makes you want to punch someone in the face. And it’s not just the pain. It’s the fact that you’ve been chewing food your whole life. How can you not have this down yet? After 42 years of practice, why is your tongue still getting in the way???
So, burpees are worse than that. And Spartans are littered with them. You have to do 30 of them for every obstacle you fail to complete. 30. How is that a reasonable number? I mean, if I can’t climb up a rope, how can I be expected to rock out 30 burpees in a row? During my last Spartan, I had to do 120 of them. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY. BURPEES. I will not do that many during my next Spartan. I refuse.
So, I’m tackling one obstacle at a time.
….if you need me, I’m over here practicing my burpees…
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