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Frightened Hammies

She won’t let me have my heating pad.

Which I wouldn’t need quite so much if I didn’t have to ice my hammies.

I need the heat on my lower back to balance it out.

And because 48.

I haven’t been to PlayFITStayFIT in a while. My new job is actually less conducive to getting to the gym than when I was working at the school 45 minutes away.

Also, I don’t like to exist past 5pm in the wintertime.

But I went back today.

Made the mistake of stepping on the scale. Because I apparently wanted to be extra sure that the reason 98% of my clothes don’t fit me anymore is, in fact, because I’m gaining weight.

It is.

Despite my daily at home workouts. And weekly long-ish runs. I’ve once again exceeded previous max weight.

I love my home workouts. The chick that makes them doesn’t talk. I’m a fan of silence. And I don’t have to leave my home. I’m a fan of hibernation.

But they’re just not as effective as having J-Vicious take the 10lb weight away from me and replace it with a 25.

They also don’t take my phone from me when I take breaks to respond to messages.

And they let me modify even when I don’t really need to.

And they don’t praise me when I, say, keep the band on my legs when I move from fire hydrants to in-out squats.…

I mean, J-Vicious doesn’t either, but still…

They also don’t say braggy shit to me like, “I don’t have to go back to work until January 4th.”

And obviously Leo can’t resist the taunt. So My dumbass said, only one more day and I won’t have to go back to work until January 3rd, so…

And then J-Vicious did some math. And as I was mid side lunge, he announces, “So, you can come to the gym ten days in a row!”

And I swear, he didn’t have the word ten fully out of his mouth before my left hamstring said, “Bitch, you better not. I’ll cramp up right here right now. I will shut it ALL down.”

Then my right hamstring chimed in. “Damn girl. Just be cool. Why you telling everybody our business?”

And as I was hovering there, protectively clutching my left hamstring willing it not to cramp up, J-V accused me of faking injury to get out of the rest of the workout.

Dude. I’m legit scared to do anything else involving my hamstrings. You scared them. And now they are threatening bodily harm.

But I’m also compliant. It’s my biggest downfall.

So I set up a 10lb weight. And settled in for some gentle hamstring curls. Promising my hammies what we would not, in fact, come to the gym ten days in a row.

And here comes J-V. Taking the 10 lbs away. And replacing it with a 25.


I mean, it is why it’s more effective for me. And i need effective for my clothes. And the adventures Beautiful Beastie keeps shoving in my in box.

But my hamstrings. My poor, terrified, vengeful hamstrings.

It’s fine. I work from home tomorrow. So I could technically just remain here on the couch for the next 11 days. But I’m definitely gonna need my heating pad back…

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Just reading and writing and running and looking for my happy place.

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