Confections Happiness

"I picked up a sentimental card first. And then remembered who you were. This one felt right." She went with accuracy instead. Because Work Boyfriend knows me. And she thinks I'm hawt. Had a dude stop me at mile nine of my run yesterday morning. As I was literally nearing the end stages of dehydration. … Continue reading Confections Happiness

Fight Invite

I started my day thinking someone had challenged me to a fight after school. I mean, you only get called to Apple Market after school for two reasons. And I was pretty sure no one wanted to make out with me. So a fight it was. And I was down. Because it’s been a rough … Continue reading Fight Invite

Drop In Neighbors and Rock Castle Gorge

An hour. It has taken me a full hour. To assemble this fucking office chair. Maybe two. It’s all an obscenities filled blur. This is not a single person job. And yes. Those are my pajama bottoms in a heap on the floor. Shit got hectic for a while. Those holes…just wouldn’t line up. And … Continue reading Drop In Neighbors and Rock Castle Gorge

Understanding Walter

This is Walter. Walter thinks I am a dumbass. I think Walter is…probably right… First. It’s important for us all to remember. That I am an intelligent person. I am as intelligent as a person can be. While simultaneously being a dumbass. So, I have this big ass lawn. Prior to this weekend, it was … Continue reading Understanding Walter

End of My Fitness Hiatus

“What are you guys doing???” Whatever we want! We’re grown! Went to leg day yesterday. At PlayFITStayFIT. Haven’t been there in a minute. Because PlayFITStayFIT classes coincide with my post-work coma schedule. It’s hard to work around that. Because work is fully draining. Like, as I’m walking out of the building at 4pm (3:56 pm…because … Continue reading End of My Fitness Hiatus

Eye Exams

I hate eye exams. Way worse than any other medical appointment. And as a woman, that’s saying a lot. It’s the pressure to perform, you know? At least at my annual. I can just lay there. And only be physically uncomfortable. I can handle physical discomfort. Mostly. At least up to 45 miles. But it’s … Continue reading Eye Exams

Blue Ridge Virtual Double Marathon

13 minutes. That’s how long it took me to get out of bed. Down the stairs. And to the coffee. And then several more minutes to figure out how to transport the coffee to my chair without the full use of my left leg. Because my dumbass thinks she’s still 43. Or however old I … Continue reading Blue Ridge Virtual Double Marathon

Spring Break From Work

I have spent the past 15 hours either sleeping. Or collecting food. For tomorrow. I've done precious little actual human communication. Because I've spent most of the past week doing too much of the wrong kind of communication. Arguing with the wrong people over the wrong things. Or trying desperately to communicate with the right … Continue reading Spring Break From Work

Time Lapse Week

Last week a teacher came into my office. Sat down. And said, "Have you just hit a wall this week? Like...I've got nothing left." Dude. Yes. I woke up this morning thinking, I'm not gonna make it to Saturday. Let alone Spring Break. "Right?" ...this was Friday... I don't know what happened in the time-space … Continue reading Time Lapse Week

Continuing To Prove My Intelligence

"I almost stopped you and told you to get off the road yesterday." What? Why? "You were out running. Police cars just flying by you. Lights on. Sirens blaring. Because there was some dude out on Washington St with a gun." Huh. "But then I figured you'd already passed him. Given him a high five. … Continue reading Continuing To Prove My Intelligence