If I’ve ever said those words to you, I’ve either been deathbed sick. Or really really pissed. I’m not hungry is generally code for, my brain is consumed with thoughts of all the ways I could kill you and it doesn’t have space for food right now. But this morning... I think I may have … Continue reading I’m Not Hungry
My Awkward Self
Hug Lists
Hug Lists Those are a thing now. Like, a not entirely creepy, just mostly normal thing. Now. We are now living in a world where you can have a list called People To Hug. And you can even tell people they’re on it. And it’s totally normal. I shared a Facebook memory yesterday. Of me … Continue reading Hug Lists
Quarantine: It’s Not Going Great
I’m not sure what day it is. This is either the end of the first full week of quarantine. Or the second. Or maybe the 88th. I’m struggling. The cats have learned to open doors. I assume in an attempt to escape me. I’m not talking just nudging a door open with their nose. Pumpkin … Continue reading Quarantine: It’s Not Going Great
Wilderness Survival Challenge
Carlos says I wouldn’t be able to survive in the wilderness. I’m not entirely sure how we got around to that point of the conversation. But he said I’d never make it living in a tiny space out in the woods. Which was offensive. I mean, I don’t do well without a constant supply of … Continue reading Wilderness Survival Challenge
Liberty and Lingering DOMS
Four days. Leg Day was four days ago. Four fucking days ago. And I’m still sidestepping down stairs like my fucking grandmother. God rest her soul. I tried that bungee jumpy cardio thing yesterday morning. Thinking it might help loosen my muscles up. And also Rogue and Fall Risk made me. But as I slowly … Continue reading Liberty and Lingering DOMS
Please Send Spoons
I haven’t talked to y’all in a minute. I’m certain you’re aware of that. That you’ve been keenly aware of my absence. From your life. I’d blame January. Except January isn’t actually the issue. Not fully. Mostly, y’all haven’t given me anything entertaining I can write about. I mean, some of y’all have definitely given … Continue reading Please Send Spoons
Divergent
Me (sharing a revelation I’d had the night before but GBFF is old so I had to wait until morning to share): I’m divergent. GBFF (offering unquestioning agreement, as he has been trained to do): Of course you are. GBFF (unable to maintain unquestioning agreement, because he is untrainable): What’s divergent? So, a lot of … Continue reading Divergent
I Am NOT Jar Jar
This one’s not about adventure. Not fun adventure anyway. Rest week, remember? Except not. Because despite my unfriend warnings, people still said North Mountain to me. And also Chaos. Though Chaos doesn’t require unfriending. I always welcome Chaos. But that’s not what this is. Because I have spent the last two days resting. Which has … Continue reading I Am NOT Jar Jar
Pre-January
No. No no no no no no no no no no. Coffee Lady! I may have lost my shit a teeny tiny bit this morning. And run down the hall yelling for the Coffee Lady. After tearing through several cabinets. And closets. And drawers. And maybe some offices... In a desperate search for coffee. No … Continue reading Pre-January
Tina Fey Broke Up With Me
I’ve got this video on my phone. Of my Tahani. My little Tina Fey clone. Doing this goofy little Tina Fey dance. And just being generally awesome. I keep watching it. And crying. Like a fucking stalker. Or a crazy ex-girlfriend. I’ve never actually been one of those. I’ve never been invested enough. But I … Continue reading Tina Fey Broke Up With Me
Shine My Way 