When I arrived at the office yesterday, my boss asked me to cover the front desk. Our actual person was out, and I was the next best option.
I was also the only option, but let’s just say best. I like best.
Yes. Absolutely. I will absolutely cover the front desk.
“Great. While you’re there, can you go through all of the boxes up front and handle whatever is in them?”
Definitely. I can definitely do that task.
Opened the largest box. And found this.
Ok. No no. It’s cool. There’s a link to a website with instructions.
Pulled up the website and saw this.
Ok. No no. It’s cool. Puzzles are in my skillset.
Using nothing but my intuition and stellar engineering skills, I managed to turn it into this.
And spent the entirety of the day making people look at it as I explained that I did that just with the power of my own brain.
“Ok. Cool. Good job….but can you tell me where this thing is?”
Oh. No. I don’t actually know things. I just…I made that out of nothing…
So maybe I wasn’t actually helpful. But I was super friendly and charming. And that level of charisma always outweighs a total lack of competence.
And I’m really good at small talk in front desk situations. It’s really the only time that particular skill kicks in.
So I chatted with our plant lady for a bit.
And she told me about how unhappy Tarzan Plant is. In the new space we’ve moved him to. Because he’s not getting enough sunlight.
And so now I obviously need to figure out how to kidnap Tarzan Plant. And find him a new home. With all the sunlight he wants.
I may need some help…
But yesterday was also company kickoff day. Because you apparently have to kickoff a company every year in corporate. Kind of like kicking off a new school year. Except in winter.
And company kickoff day meant happy hour. And happy hour meant sitting in the middle of a room completely by myself surrounded by four separate groups of humans chatting happily away with one another. The beer in my hand almost made it ok.
But my trauma responses started kicking into high gear. So I opted to head back to the front desk where I could hide in my charismatic incompetence until it was time to leave.
And because I was still in my feelings about the forced social exclusion by the end of the day. I was reluctant to go to the gym after work.
But I’ve actually managed to drop one of my extra five pound weights over the last few weeks of consistent PlayFITStayFIT attendance. So I had to go.
And I promised J-Vicious I would work hard. And not just spend the whole time chatting with Fall Risk.
Which seemed like a really unfair accusation, but ok. Whatever you say, boss.
Because the one thing we’ve established is that, while I will bitch and complain and occasionally revolt during workouts, I am, at my core, fully compliant.
As evidenced by this automatic response to J-V’s questioning what I was doing. After I had finished duck walking a freakin mile on the greenway.
Just went back into automatic duck walk. When he didn’t even yell at me to do so.
We’ll just go ahead and call that a trauma response, too. Why not.
But Fall Risk and I got in a really solid workout. We did great. There’s actually video of J-V saying so.
And with one less five pound weight to carry up the mountain, I’m so ready to take on Beautiful Beastie’s next mountain on Saturday.
I’m gonna be so fast…
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