Voluntary Rest Day


I’m doing that today.


I woke up at 5:00am when my alarm when off and made the call.

Texted Rogue and went right on back to sleep.

And now here I am resting and shit.

Here’s why.

Y’all know how all of the social media networks went down Wednesday afternoon?

And sent all of the United States into a panic? Full of end of times, mothers clutching their babies, sorority girls showing random strangers their photos, runners wandering the streets shouting out how far they just ran, type of panic?

Know why that happened?

My blog.


North Mountain Czar took it upon himself to create a voiceover of my Please Stop Talking post. And tried to share it. And immediately brought Facebook and Instagram and probably even MySpace to their knees. In awe. Of my literary genius and his mellifluous voice.

For reals, though. It was amazing.

The bit that he managed to get through. The point at which he lost it was probably my favorite part, though.

I’d share it, but I don’t want to get on some government list for bringing down the network. Plus I have runs to share.

Trust me. It was gold.

But the most amazing part?

Hearing my own writing read out loud.

It was kind of magical.

Like, someone is actually reading the shit I write.

And seemingly even enjoying it.

That’s like being inside my head and looking around at the raging mess and complete impossibility of ever finding anything and just kind of shrugging and being like, “meh, ok. I can stand this for a little while.”

And so I’m sitting here with my coffee and pile of books on my front porch at 8am.

Instead of preparing to hike to the Cascades with Rogue and them.

I’m taking a forced rest day. To sleep in. Read. Write. And then get around to all of the adulting I was gonna do when I got home from the Cascades.

I’m gonna use this time to create and not even feel an ounce of saltiness at missing out on the hike.

(As long as they don’t post any pictures.)

And my legs are fully appreciative of that.

Because while they did not do 35 miles of climbing with Tiny Brazilian and North Mountain Czar yesterday, they have jumped straight back into the fitness game after two weeks of mostly sedentation.

And last night’s Chaos Run was a strugggggle. Thankfully GJB wanted strength intervals, so the push ups every mile offered a nice break.

And pausing for a new Facebook cover photo helped.

(Photo credit: GJB. Who really is the most high maintenance constantly PMSing man-woman in the world. Word to the wise. If you’re taking scenery pics of him, take at least 20 different shots. From different angles. All horizontal. So he has choices. That may help you avoid his bitching. But also probably throw in a few vertical pics just to keep him humble.)

Of course, by the end, we were taking walking breaks every few feet anyway. Getting our own version of High Intensity Intervals Training in. Because heat stroke is real.

Thank Dog my newest Spartan Teammate left ice cold water in a cooler at the top of the climb for us. So we could bring our internal oven temperatures down for a mile or so.

Because that last two mile stretch is damn near all sun.

One of us may have gotten super whiny.

But honestly, it was like running into a blanket. A heated one. That someone had wetted down first and then draped over you.

Don’t judge.

Except go ahead and judge GJB, because I’m the only one that did the last set of push ups at the end.

I mean, my new Spartan Teammate may have done like 500 pushups yesterday. Because he takes training seriously.

But I’m the only one between GJB and I who hit them every single mile.

I’ll have that slackiness corrected soon.

Because he’s kicked me off of his friends list to make room for some new biking friends.

No no. It’s ok. I was at the bottom of the list anyway. It only makes sense that I was cut first.

Plus it opened up the opportunity for me to sign on as his life coach. I couldn’t do that if we were still friends. Conflict of interest. And I take ethics very seriously.

Y’all not going to believe what a top notch person I’m gonna turn him into.

He’s finally gonna be the man-woman that Lil’ T deserves. Or at least kinda close. I’m not sure I have time for that much work.

I’ve gotta rest sometimes.

And now I’m thinking that maybe I do want to try to bring the network back down.

But only long enough for Rogue and them to lose interest in trying to post pics from this morning.

So I don’t have to be super salty. And I can just stay a little salty.

2 responses to “Voluntary Rest Day”

  1. Ha, nice post! Love the way you wrote it, it really made me laugh! And rest days are definitely needed sometimes, something I always tell myself when it suits me most!

    1. Thank you! Rest days are hard, though, right? But it sure felt good to sleep in this morning.

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