When I tell you I can’t cook… I’m not exaggerating. That’s the lasagna I made for dinner. For myself. There’s no cheese in there. I didn’t have all the ingredients I needed. And I don’t go to the grocery store more than once a week. Because I find that experience traumatizing. Also, I don’t have … Continue reading I Can’t Cook
My Awkward Self
Humorless Professional Writing (aka Business Writing)
Are there classes that teach humorless professional writing? Because apparently if you spend too many years with the freedom to entertain yourself in your emails, you lose the ability to craft actual professional writing. I've had a couple of people. Not many. But just not even a handful of people. Ask me why I haven't … Continue reading Humorless Professional Writing (aka Business Writing)
Keeping My Mouth Shut
Got this book in the mail today. The note that came with it begins by saying, "Read this book - your boss will thank you." ...well, that's just...hurtful... And anyway, I'm pretty sure my boss wants me to talk more. I actually shut the fuck up as much as possible at work. Because I still … Continue reading Keeping My Mouth Shut
Finding More People
“I’ve got to get home to my cats. Because that’s who I am as a person.” That’s…that’s how I exited my last networking event…with professional women in technology...like, just really professional women… *sigh* I’m three months into my new job. Into my new corporate world. It’s been challenging. Not like monitoring 300 truancy cases while … Continue reading Finding More People
Unannounced Birthday
"You always have people throwing food and gifts at you on your birthday." Because I tell them to. If you don't tell them, they have to want to do it on their own. I have no trust that anyone will want to celebrate me on their own. So I have a pretty strong history of … Continue reading Unannounced Birthday
Cat Teeth Removal
Nine years ago. I brought home a foster cat that lived inside of this couch for over a month. For a solid month. Maybe two. I never saw him. He only came out of this couch when I wasn’t around. He had zero trust in me. Until he did. I call it the cat couch. … Continue reading Cat Teeth Removal
Incomplete Impromptu Road Trip
Sometimes you just need a road trip. Had happy hour at work. Again. Yesterday. (These folks love to celebrate shit.) So I sat there. With my beer. Watching them all talk. And laugh. And reminisce. About all the times that happened when I didn’t work there. IT guy talked to me. “You’re Sunshine.” I am…that’s … Continue reading Incomplete Impromptu Road Trip
Full Car Inspection
Every year. Every year I have issues with my car inspection. Remember that time I was Living That Rejected Life? Yeah, that was a fun time. Did you know that you can make an appointment for a full car inspection, but you can't make an appointment for a car inspection? Except that you can make … Continue reading Full Car Inspection
Proving My Existence
So, I work in this…I guess it’s called a green building? Or a smart building? A smart green building? The lights are on motion detectors. The toilets and faucets and towel dispensers are also motion-activated. It’s cool. In theory. Saving all those resources. But there’s something about my existence that the sensors fail to acknowledge. … Continue reading Proving My Existence
Legit Professional Woman
Ran with my Cross Country kids for the first time in months tonight. Ran is a bit of a stretch. See this? That’s my heart rate. That spike? That’s when my heart rate hit 193… That was during the warm up… We all agreed I would just sweep the actual run. I’m certain it serves … Continue reading Legit Professional Woman
Shine My Way 